I thought seriously about killing myself. There, I have said it. It’s not something I ever thought I would hear myself say or indeed admit to, but I have now. It’s out there, done, it has now been said. I have had a dark couple of years, but I’m still here. I’m in a […]
Well it has flown by. It only seems like days since I made the decision to declare myself bankrupt. It only seems like days since I signed the dotted line. It has been give or take – 60 days – two months, and I have 10 more months left of being ‘a bankrupt’. There is […]
There is a man in my home town, (I say ‘home town’ but increasingly I am beginning to believe that my time there is counting down to another move away from bitter memories and toward a fresh start) that collects spiders and moths in jars from around the town centre. A tall, dark, chiselled jawed […]
I sat and stared at the dim, lifeless grey walls of the job centre and my OCD illuminated areas in and around my brain like a Childs back garden party full of sparklers in early November. The posters and notices stuck randomly around those walls were not straight, not in any order, and all of […]
If you’ve read my previous posts, you’ll know that my bankruptcy wasn’t caused by my own financial mismanagement. I had an issue at work in which my employer thought (and was proved incorrectly) that I had broken some rules and they reported me to the Police and also my licensing authority. I’m a professional who […]
Sat in a cafe in North London yesterday, I re-read a text message I was sent the previous night from someone I love and respect dearly. The reason I had to re-read it was simply that when it came through and my eyes darted left and right over the black letters on a grey background, […]
My first month of my bankruptcy has flown by. 11 to go. I have had a lot going on in my personal life to attend to, but not withstanding that, I thought I would write down a summary of what has happened purely on the financial affairs front for anyone in the future who searches […]
Spending a few days away this weekend working in my friends pub did me both the world of good and also dragged me back a little. It did a lot more too, it let me see (and hear from) people that I love and that love me back, and that is a great healer in […]
My eyes are bloodshot and full of psychic tears, I cannot see the words clearly that I am typing as it is like opening your eyes underwater in a swimming pool. Everything is blurry through a thin mixture of water, salts, antibodies and Iysozymes. My heart is racing and I feel physically sick and my […]
I have just been given £100 cash for helping a friend with a driving job. That’s two weeks living money right there. Thank you Gav ! As I now have no outgoings, money should last a little longer. I’m sat in a hotel lobby in the British horse racing town of Newmarket. I have free […]
The ramblings of a bankrupt. 